Heartbreak
by Dirgni19
Summary: He'll break your heart." -- A romance story with an unhappy ending, but for which one? A story that spans the entire second half of S3, beginning with The Lazarus Experiment.


"He'll break your heart," Tish whispered, her gaze directed at her sister who was running excitedly through the dark hallways of Southwark Cathedral to find the Doctor. Martha's steps faltered and she turned, her giddy expression fading.

"You don't know that," she answered, her fingers sought to grip the back of a wooden pew. Tish stepped closer and put her hand on Martha's shoulder. The younger Jones girl winced but remained still.

"You hardly know him Martha, how certain are you that he won't?" Tish pleaded as Martha closed her eyes.

_"Martha, forgive me for this. It's to save a thousand lives, it means nothing. Honestly, nothing." _

_His palms are on her skin, cold as fire. His lips inch closer until they touch hers, urgent but gentle as he kisses her. She can barely recall what happened to lead to this - something about apologies and distractions, something about saving lives and something meaning nothing. He needs to do this, he says: need, want - both melt into one and she gasps in surprise then in surrender. _

"I'm not," Martha looked up at her sister's worried face and continued. "I'm not certain, but the finding out will be worth it."

* * *

"I'll save you!" His voice cracks, though she doesn't hear. There she is, drifting further towards the sun and all he can do is stare helplessly out in the space between them. He can see her frantically screaming his name, tears blurring her vision.

"I'll save you," he repeats, his hearts beating in time with his promise. He will save her no matter what it takes. He will do it because without her, who will save him?

"It's no good, Martha," Jenny sighed as she continued to tap the glass of hot cider that Martha had refilled and placed in front of her. Martha frowned in confusion, her thoughts still distracted by the flicker of light that had passed earlier that night.

"What isn't?" she asked as she sat down with her own drink. Martha shivered and pulled down the bonnet around her ears, determined to enjoy her free time. Jenny hesitated before replying, unsure of what her friend's reaction would be.

"I see the way you look at him, that John Smith. I'm telling you, it's no good." Martha let out a soft chuckle, surprising Jenny.

"You're not the first to tell me that," Martha shrugged. Jenny leaned forward in consternation.

"Then why are you doing this to yourself? Why put yourself through all the pain?"

Martha gazed out at the starless sky and wondered how she could possibly answer such a loaded question without revealing all that she had worked so hard to hide for months. Reason after reason flooded her brain, one more inexplicable than the other. What could she say to sum up everything she feels for the Doctor when she had difficulties explaining it all to herself? In the end, she replied with the most truthful answer she could muster.

"Because he is everything to me."

* * *

"She loves you," Jack said without preamble.

His hands rested on his knees as he stared at the pensive Time Lord sitting before him. It had been a long night of running from the Master's prying eyes and searching for a safe place to hide while they formulated a battle plan, and the country's three most wanted criminals were tired and hungry. Martha had offered to step out to get their dinner and Jack had found it the most opportune time to interrogate the Doctor about his beautiful new Companion who obviously harbored deep feelings for him. The Doctor neither denied nor admitted anything; he merely glanced at Jack and pursed his lips. Jack responded by crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow, refusing to allow the Doctor to evade this conversation. After a long stretch of silence the Doctor conceded and began to talk in rapid bursts.

"She only thinks she does," the Doctor sighed and raked his fingers through his hair.

Jack said nothing and waited for the Time Lord to continue. The Doctor took off his glasses and leaned forward, his face lit up with mingled pride and affection as he talked of his Companion.

"Martha; she's brilliant. So very brilliant. She's saved me so many times, but she doesn't love me. Not really." The Doctor's voice trailed off as he got lost in his thoughts.

"You'll break her heart, Doctor," Jack responded softly, voicing out the truth. The Doctor glanced at his dear friend, his ancient eyes revealing the depth of emotions he could never articulate. A sad smile spread across his features and he answered, resigned.

"No, Jack. She'll break mine."

* * *

_"This is me, getting out."_

So it was time. Everything ends and everyone leaves, but the Doctor had hoped so fervently that this time around he would be wrong. Martha has had enough and she is saying goodbye and he couldn't find the right words to make her stay. She continued to speak but all he could hear was his hearts pulsing desperately in his chest as he struggled to breathe.

The Doctor wanted to reach out and hold this fragile human who stood bravely by the TARDIS door, baring her soul to the one person who was unable to ease her pain. What he would give to hold her in his arms and whisper the words she longed to hear, but years of careful practice had made him speechless.

"_You gonna be alright?"_

"_Always, yeah." _

All this time they both believed it was her heart that's at stake; that her heart is the one to break. Martha would never know that in the end, it was his hearts that are breaking, and he could never tell her.


End file.
